16 The Revision Process

The revision process is where your topic begins to grow. This is the step in which you are likely to spend  the majority of your time. This section is different from simply editing or proofreading because you are  looking for larger context issues. For example, the revision step is when you need to check your topic  sentences and transitions, make sure each claim matches the thesis statement, and so on. Return to the assignment and brainstorming as needed to ensure you are on the right track and that your draft is properly adhering to  the guidelines of the assignment.

The revision portion of the writing process is also where you will need to make sure all of your  paragraphs are fully developed as appropriate for the assignment. If you need to have outside sources  present, this is when you will make sure that all are working properly together. If the assignment is a  summary, this is when you will need to double check all paraphrasing to make sure it correctly  represents the ideas and information of the source text.

After you have written a draft, sometimes you will need to make changes. In a college writing class, your instructor probably has requirements about revising your work. While you may feel that you write best “under pressure” the night before your assignment is due, writing a single draft at the last minute rarely results in your best work. You may also find that in college writing, you have to do more than simply write in correct sentences and organized paragraphs. You may feel that you’ve put a lot of effort into your first draft, and it can be challenging to think about changing your work or even eliminating words that you toiled over. But it’s well worth the pain of revising to produce a polished piece of writing that others can easily understand. Your instructor will expect that you have carefully considered the writing task, possibly done some research, and given considerable thought to your ideas and to the needs of your reader/audience. It’s unlikely that you will be able to do so without taking time in between drafts to reconsider your ideas and then revise your draft.

To revise a piece of writing, it may help you to think of three separate ways to improve your writing even if you combine those three ways or move back and forth between them. You can look at the big picture, check your organization, and also edit and proofread your final draft.

Higher Order Concerns

Revising for higher order concerns means changing and revising sections of your paper and working on the organization of your ideas.

When you revise at the “big picture” stage, you are looking at the most important aspects of the writing tasks, and the ones that require the most thought. Here’s a set of questions to help you revise for these higher order concerns:

• Have I met the purpose and requirements?
• Does my draft say what I mean?
• Have I changed my thinking through writing or researching?
• Are there parts that do not belong here? (For more help with this, see “Reverse Outlining” later in this section of the text.)
• Are there pieces missing?
• Are there places where the writing does not make sense?
• Is the tone right for my reader?
• Are my sources the right kind for my purpose and reader?
• Are all the pieces in the right place?
• Are sources documented?

Lower Order Concerns

Lower order concerns focus on editing and proofreading. (For help with this, see the “Editing and Proofreading” section of this book.)

Perhaps you are the person who proofreads and edits as you write a draft, so when you are done drafting and revising for content and structure, you may not have that much editing or proofreading to do. Or maybe you are the person who pays no attention to grammar and spelling as you draft, saving all of the editing until you are finished writing. Either way, for college work (and professional work), plan to carefully edit and proofread your work. For most people, proofreading on a printed copy is more effective than working entirely on screen. Editing is the act of making changes or indicating what to change; proofreading means checking to make sure those changes were made.

There are several techniques to use to help you revise your writing. We will discuss several of these below.

Giving and Receiving Feedback

In many writing classes, students are expected to learn how to give feedback to their peers. This task is usually called peer review, a concept you will also learn about when you begin to use academic research. At first, this may seem intimidating. Writers may think, “I’m not a teacher–how can I give useful feedback to another writer?” What writers CAN do is give their peers an honest reaction as a reader and give advice based on their own experience. It is ultimately up to the writer to decide if they want to make sure of the feedback given. If you feel unsure of your ability to give feedback, remember that you are learning from the process. In a class, the other students will also receive feedback from the instructor.

This understanding may also help students who don’t feel that other students are qualified to give feedback. If you feel that the advice given to you by a peer isn’t right, you can choose to ignore it or decide to check with your instructor first. Remember that your peers are learning how to give feedback, just as you are.

Giving feedback on writing is a powerful skill that you may use outside of school for work projects, for personal writing, or even to help your children with their homework.

Giving Peer Feedback

When your role in peer review is to give feedback, your job is to help the writer by giving your reaction as a reader to the writing. Think about the kind of feedback you would like to get and also how you would like that feedback to be given. What follows here are some basic rules to follow for responding to someone else’s writing.

As the reviewer, here are some suggestions on how to review another’s work:

• First, listen to the writer. What kind of feedback are they asking for? Do they want to know if their thesis is clear? Do they have questions about citing sources? Make a note about what kind of feedback the writer has requested and keep that in mind as you respond.
• Be kind. When you are receiving criticism, isn’t it easier to hear if the person giving the criticism is kind and respectful to you? Do the same for your peer.
• Comment on the higher order concerns first. That means asking questions about anything that confuses you, checking to see if the writing did what the assignment called for, and considering if the order of the paper makes sense. Sometimes your instructor will give you specific things they want you to comment on; if so, be sure you do so.
• Always read through a piece at least twice.  The first time through focus on getting familiar with the piece. In the second reading, really try to understand what is being said and how. After two readings if the you are still is unsure of the essay’s purpose, the writer needs to be made aware of that issue.
•   Take the role of the intended reader.  What writers need most is someone who will read in the same way as the intended reader will—that is, someone who is reading for content, not for errors. The most valuable peer review advice concerns content, organization and style. Peer reviewers whose only comments are about punctuation, mechanics or spelling may help the writer write a more correct piece of writing, but it still may not be clear or meet the assignment objectives.
•   Avoid “fixing” the problem.  The role of peer editor is not to fix the problems but to bring them to the writer’s attention. The best advice a reviewer can offer is to point out what works and doesn’t work  and what questions may be left unanswered.
• Don’t try to make the writer sound like you. If a word is the wrong word, note that, but if you just think of a word you like better, that’s just a matter of style and voice.
•   Be honest but constructive.  It can be hard for a reviewer to say what he or she really thinks about a piece of writing. It’s often tempting to say “Looks fine,” but the writer will learn nothing from the exercise.  A good approach is for the reviewer to start by telling the writer what he or she likes and then mention what doesn’t work. Be tentative.  Rather than say, “This is really confusing,” try something like, “I wasn’t completely clear about what this sentence meant.”
•   Be specific.  Try not to make blanket judgments (“It’s really hard to understand”) or vague statements (“Your description here is okay”); instead, be specific (“This list really makes the procedure clear”; “I think you need to make this point more clearly”).

Make the Most of Peer Feedback

Now let’s consider your role in receiving feedback, not giving it. Are you eager to get feedback? Scared to share your work? If you are receiving feedback from your peers, remember that ultimately you get to decide what feedback to accept. If you don’t think the feedback is correct, ask your instructor what they think. And give your peers a break; they are also just learning how to give feedback.

As the writer, here are some suggestions on getting the most out of having a peer editor review your work:

•   Take advantage of the opportunity.  Writers will benefit from the feedback they get from peer editors even if they don’t much like it at the time. When you write, try to think of your work as open to revision. Take advantage of having someone read your work to make what you write clearer and more readable.
•   Ask when you don’t understand reviewers’ comments.  Feel free to ask your editor for clarification if you find the person’s comments too vague or otherwise unclear. Similarly, if your peer editor says what you’ve written “looks fine” ask about specific parts of your draft (“Did you think the purpose was clearly stated in my introduction?”).
•   Don’t take it personally.  If you feel rather bruised by the comments of your peer editor, remind yourself that the comments are about your writing, not about you. If someone finds what you’ve written unclear, confusing, muddled, repetitive or just plain boring, that’s one person’s opinion. Accept it and see what you can do to correct it.
•   Feel free to decline their suggestions.  If you’ve considered your peer editor’s advice and don’t feel that it’s helpful, you’re always free to ignore it. But usually if a reader says there’s a problem, it’s worth taking a careful look.
• If you aren’t sure about the feedback or feel upset about it, reconsider the suggestions after a break. It’s okay to say, “I’ll think about that.” If you feel that the reviewer is trying to change your style so that the paper doesn’t sound like you anymore, consider whether the feedback helps you make the paper better. If not, feel free to set that feedback aside.

Suggestions for Successful Peer Reviews

Few writers can trust their own judgment to know whether something they’ve written is clear to someone else. By the time they finish writing, they usually know a lot about their topic, too well to tell whether it will be clear to their audience.

Peer reviews give writers a chance to discover how their writing looks to someone else. Reviewers can help them discover many things:

* Is their topic appropriate?

* Is it easy to follow?

* Is it clear, concise and credible?

Peer reviewing will also help writers get used to having others review their work. Writers are not just reviewed in college settings but also in professional ones.

The following are examples of some questions that could be used during peer conferencing:

1. Does the rough draft accomplish its purpose?
2. Is the draft appropriate for the assignment?
3. Do the introduction and conclusion focus clearly on the writer’s main point? Is the thesis clear enough and well-placed?
4. Are there any ideas that are clearly off topic?
5. Are the topic sentences for the supporting paragraphs clear?
6. Is the essay organized well? Does the order of the paragraphs make sense? Are any of the paragraphs too long or too short?
7. Are the supporting ideas persuasive? Do any of them need further development? Should any of them be deleted? Are there any ideas which don’t receive enough attention?
8. Is the draft written in 3rd person point-of-view? Are there any distracting shifts in point-of-view?

Any further comments?

Peer reviewers should avoid answering these questions with just a yes or a no.  Respond in complete and specific sentences.

Why Meet With a Writing Tutor?

Sometimes your instructor may ask you to visit the Writing Center, or it may even be a requirement for your class. Or you may just be curious about what a writing tutor has to offer. Many colleges have writing centers or subscribe to online services that provide tutoring in writing. What’s the benefit?

Writing tutors offer you another perspective on your writing. They serve as a real audience for your words and ideas. In addition to that, they have some additional expertise either because they are more experienced writers or they are writing instructors. Writing tutors also have experience with resources for writing that you may not be aware of.

Preparing to Meet with a Tutor

To prepare for a Writing Center session, print your paper out and consider printing a second copy to make it easier for both you and the tutor to read along at the same time. Be ready to take notes and listen carefully. It’s helpful if you bring the assignment or have access to it online. Your tutor will spend a few minutes in the beginning of the session figuring out what you are writing, what the requirements are, and when your work is due. They may ask what you have already done to improve the writing, and they will almost always ask you what you would like help with.

Keep in mind that your tutor will want to focus on a few important things rather than try to catch every little thing in your paper. Tutors won’t edit your paper for you, but they can help you learn how to edit your own work better. Don’t be surprised if your tutor shows you how to use a writing resource such as a handbook or the Purdue OWL online; part of the tutor’s job is to help you learn to navigate resources on your own, so that you eventually have the same tools as the tutor.

At the end of a session, the tutor will probably ask you what you plan to do next with your writing. That’s how they check to see that you got what you needed from the session and that you understood the advice given. After you revise your writing, you may want to schedule another tutoring session to work on additional aspects of the assignment.

What About Getting Help from Family or a Friend?

Getting feedback from a reader outside of your class can sometimes be a good idea. If you want to ask a friend or family member for feedback, set some ground rules. They should follow the same rules as a peer reviewer. At the very least, asking a friend or family member to read your paper aloud will help you hear how your paper sounds. You will probably catch more errors, too.

Preparing for a Teacher or Student Peer Conference

Getting in-person help from your instructor is one of the best ways to receive feedback. You can prepare for a conference with your instructor so that you get the most out of it. Usually, a conference happens with just you and your instructor. Friends aren’t invited, and parents can only attend with your permission due to the Family Educational Rights to Privacy Act (FERPA).

Bring your best work to the conference. The more effort you have already made means that the instructor won’t waste time telling you things you already know you need to fix. Re-read your work before the conference and prepare some questions. What do you think is working? What do you need help with? During the conference, take notes. If the instructor writes anything down, ask if you can take their notes with you. At the end of the conference, work with your instructor on an action plan to revise your work.

Reverse Outlining

Often, outlining is recommended as an early component of the writing process, a way to organize and connect thoughts so the shape of what you are going to write is clear before you start drafting it. This is a tool many writers use that is probably already familiar to you.

Reverse outlining, though, is different in a few ways. First, it happens later in the process, after a draft is completed rather than before. Second, it gives you an opportunity to review and assess the ideas and connections that are actually present in the completed draft. This is almost an opposite approach from traditional outlining, as the traditional pre-writing outline considers an initial set of ideas, which might shift as the draft is actually being written and new ideas are added or existing ones are moved, changed, or removed entirely. A reverse outline can help you improve the structure and organization of your already-written draft, letting you see where support is missing for a specific point or where ideas don’t quite connect on the page as clearly as you wanted them to.

How to Create a Reverse Outline

1. At the top of a fresh sheet of paper, write your primary thesis or claim for the text you want to outline. This should be the thesis exactly as it appears in your draft, not the thesis you know you intended. If you can’t find the actual words, write down that you can’t find them in this draft of the paper—it’s an important note to make!
2. Draw a line down the middle of the page, creating two columns below your thesis.
3. Read, preferably out loud, the first body paragraph of your draft.
4. In the left column, write the single main idea of that paragraph (again, this should be using only the words that are actually on the page, not the ones you want to be on the page). If you find more than one main idea in a paragraph, write down all of them. If you can’t find a main idea, write that down, too.
5. In the right column, state how the main idea of that paragraph supports the thesis.
6. Repeat steps 3-5 for each body paragraph of the draft.

Once you have completed these steps, you have a reverse outline! It might look a little something like this (this one is only looking at two paragraphs of a draft for the sake of example; yours will likely be looking at more paragraphs than just two):

Working with the Results of Your Reverse Outline

Now what? You’ve probably already made some observations while completing this. Often students will speak up in class after we create these to tell me that they notice places where they are repeating themselves or that some of their paragraphs have too many points or don’t clearly support the thesis.

There are a number of observations that can be made with the aid of a reverse outline, and a number of ways it can help you strengthen your paper. Try considering the following questions as you review yours.

Do Multiple Paragraphs Share the Same Main Idea?

If so, you might try combining them, paring back the information for that specific idea soit doesn’t feel imbalanced in how much space it takes up, and/or organizing these paragraphs about the same point so they are next to each other in the paper.

Do Any Paragraphs Have Multiple Main Ideas?

Each paragraph should have only one primary focus. If you notice a paragraph does have more than one main idea, you could look for where some of those ideas might be discussed in other paragraphs and move them into a paragraph already focusing on that point, or select just the one main idea you think is most important to this paragraph and cut the other points out, or you might split that paragraph into multiple paragraphs and expand on each main idea.

Do Any Paragraphs Lack a Clear Main Idea?

If it was hard for you to find the main idea of a paragraph, it will also be hard for your reader to find. For paragraphs that don’t yet have a main idea, consider whether the information in that paragraph points to a main idea that just isn’t written on the page yet. If the information does all support one main idea, adding that idea to the paragraph might be all that is needed. Alternatively, you may find that some of the ideas fit into other paragraphs to support their ideas, or you may not need some of them in the next draft at all.

Do Any Main Ideas Not Connect Clearly and Directly Back to the Thesis?

Since the point of almost every paper is to support its thesis statement, this one can be critical. It should be clear how the main idea of each paragraph supports the thesis or claim of the paper. If that connection is not directly stated, ask yourself how the main idea of that paragraph furthers your thesis and then write that response.

Do Ideas Flow from Paragraph to Paragraph? Are There Gaps in Reasoning?

If a paper starts out introducing something that is a problem in a community, then presents a solution to the problem, and then talks about why the problem is…well, a problem, this organization is likely to confuse readers. Reorganizing to introduce the problem, discuss why it is a problem, and then move on to proposing a solution would do good work to help strengthen the next draft of this paper.

Note that you may need to move, revise, or add transition statements after moving paragraphs around.

. Similarly, writers often write the same idea three or four different ways as they’re getting their thoughts down on paper. That’s fine. In fact, that’s better than fine because each repetition helps to develop key ideas and alternative approaches to the argument. A snarly first draft is often a great achievement. One just needs to take the time to develop relevant ideas and make them clear to the reader. For that reason, this section of the chapter envisions someone who has already cranked out a very rough draft and is now in the process of revising for clarity and concision.

References

1Michael Harvey, The Nuts and Bolts of College Writing. (Indianapolis, IN: Hackett, 2003), 3.

2 Variously attributed to Albert Einstein, E.F. Schumacher, and Woody Guthrie.

The Word on College Reading and Writing by Carol Burnell, Jaime Wood, Monique Babin, Susan Pesznecker, and Nicole Rosevear is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License, except where otherwise noted.