34 Big Ideas: Difficult Conversations
Big Ideas
- Difficult conversations, like all conversations, are opportunities to strengthen relationships.
- Listen to understand – that sounds like a basic concept, but often people listen to respond. Truly being present in a conversation means that you are listening for the purposes of hearing another perspective, not forming your response/next statement in your head while the other person is talking.
- The most difficult conversations involve at least one person whose emotions are strong. The emotions we can observe may not best reflect the unmet needs that lie beneath. To best engage, we first diffuse tension, then listen to one another to identify and respond to those unmet needs.
- A typical response to someone who challenges you or your work is to defend your actions. However, focusing on being right concurrently implies someone else is wrong. No one feels heard, valued, or seen when they are told they are wrong.
- The golden rule sounds lovely, but serves to perpetuate culturally unresponsive practices. Instead of treating people how you want to be treated, take the time to better understand how they want to be treated.
