Chapter 9: Utilizing Strategic Supports

Word Choice and Privacy

What we say and the context in which we say it matters. When our goal is to get students back on track swiftly and with minimal disruption, choosing our words carefully is paramount. In the Toolkit Strategies section, we will discuss specific examples of wording to use with each of the lower low-profile strategies; however, several commonalities in our approach are helpful to explore. The first common guideline is to use as few words as possible. Take a moment before responding to ensure that, regardless of the strategy, the verbal response is short and to the point (limiting the total number of words). This might come naturally to some, but for many people, this is a challenging task. If you tend to give long explanations or get lost in your own stories, it might be helpful to think about what you are planning to say and then ask yourself if you can be more concise before saying it aloud. Bringing awareness to our word choice when we are responding to behavioral issues will help us be intentional and clear.

The second common guideline is to state what the child (or children) should be doing. Stating our expectations and directions in the positive makes a big difference in the way students respond. Of course, some students will follow the directive even if worded in the negative (e.g., do not touch the counting cubes), but other students will have a hard time with this request. Because this chapter is focused on students who need more support, it is vital that we use language that tells them exactly what we want them to do (e.g., leave the counting cubes in the bowl for right now and get out your 10-frame).

The third common guideline is to use discretion in your response. For low-profile approaches to be maximally effective, it is important that the student does not feel humiliated, shamed, or threatened. Because our focus is on reengaging the child productively and quickly, we want to be discreet and avoid embarrassing the child. Sometimes the easiest way to do this is to address the class as a whole. Some of the low-profile strategies easily lend themselves to a whole-group approach. For other strategies, it makes more sense to walk over to one student individually. Even when you are working individually with a child, it is possible and essential to address the student individually without them feeling embarrassed. Attending to tone and expression is the key.

Tone and Expression

We convey as much, if not more, information with our tone and facial expressions as we do with the words we select. Our words matter a lot (as we just discussed), but so does the context in which they are delivered. A number of strategic decisions can ensure that our tone and expression matches the care we have taken to select our words. First, we want our tone and our facial expressions to sound and look neutral and calm. It might seem that these would naturally happen concurrently, but anyone who has worked with young children knows that our tone can sound caring and sweet and our “teacher face” can say, “Try that one more time.” Or our face can be kind and understanding, but our voice may say, “Don’t play with me.” A serious face can be a great nonverbal signal at times and a serious voice is needed especially if something problematic might occur, but they are not helpful for low-profile strategies. These tones and expressions signal to children that punishment is coming if they do not get it together and that is not the focus of low-profile responses.

Our primary goal is reengagement, and the quickest way to make that happen is with an open and warm face and a kind but firm tone. We can often gauge if we got the tone and expression right by the student’s response. If they remain calm and reengage, we most certainly got it right. If they respond defensively, it might be helpful to continue to play around with our tone and expressions and notice if it makes a difference. Certainly, this is not the only variable that could have an impact on a student’s defensive response, but an open and warm expressions along with a kind but firm tone play a significant role in minimizing behavioral escalation.

Body Language

The third area to consider is our body language. We are intentionally separating this from facial expressions to focus on how the rest of our body communicates information to children. In the same way that we want our face to demonstrate openness and warmth, we need the rest of our body to reinforce the message. This is especially important if we are addressing one child directly. A strategic decision we can make is to position our body at the child’s level by bending down or sitting adjacent to the child at eye level. This posture is helpful not only to ensure that they hear our words but also avoids the feeling that we are talking down to the child. It is also helpful to attend to our posture and ensure that it sends signals of openness (e.g., relaxed shoulders, no crossed arms). Intentionally deciding to move our body slowly can also have a positive impact. Charging over to a student who is not on task could cause them to quickly feel threatened even if this is not our intention. Moving slowly, maintaining open body positioning, and getting on the child’s level are all helpful when using low-profile approaches.

Avoiding Threats and Ultimatums

Using threats or ultimatums when a child has not responded or has failed to meet the behavioral expectations is tempting. For some children a threat (e.g., silent lunch if you do not stop fighting with your partner) might be enough to shift their behavior, but for many children (especially if they have become dysregulated), this will not usually be effective. Threats also erode the climate of trust we have worked to establish within the classroom community. Additionally, it does not solve the problem or give the child additional support if they find themselves in the same situation in the future. Even if students are able to shift their behavior momentarily, the problem is likely to resurface. Using ultimatums returns us to a punishment lens and implies that students need a negative consequence to be motivated to comply. When a child has dysregulated, threats and a focus on compliance is not productive. This is often the very moment we need to let go of compliance (temporarily) to help the child identify what the barriers are and why they are having difficulty. Putting a temporary pause on the expectation or giving a short period of transition space can be helpful to allow the child to calm down and figure out what they need. This does not mean that we allow any and all behaviors to continue, but it does mean that we do not use words as threats to escalate the situation because this will often lead to power struggles.

Avoiding Power Struggles

Most of us know when a power struggle has occurred, but catching yourself before you are pulled into one can be hard to do. Typically, power struggles are defined as situations in which two people are equally committed to getting their way or “winning” (Peters, 2010). We can engage in a power struggle with anyone, but power struggles with children are especially problematic. Once we have become entangled in a power struggle, we have become dysregulated and the outcome is always escalation. The use of high-profile approaches poses a danger of engaging in a power struggle. Ensuring that we do not use threats and shifting our expectations can help minimize, but does not eliminate, this risk.

Sometimes children initiate the power struggle, but equally often it is the adult. Regardless of how it begins, it is critically important to disengage as soon as possible. Sometimes walking away from the student and situation for a moment is best. If able to recenter quickly, another option is to make a statement to the child directly apologizing for arguing and letting them know that you would like to help solve the problem more productively once you have both calmed down. Avoiding power struggles altogether is the goal, but mistakes are teachable moments, and we can use these times to help children see how we repair the harm when we have made a mistake.

Avoiding Sarcasm and Insults

The third pitfall to avoid is the use of sarcasm and insults. As children get older they are able to appreciate and use sarcasm and friendly insults or “roasts,” but in the context of addressing challenging behavior, it is never the right decision. When children are having difficulty engaging in the classroom community, we are seeing them in their most vulnerable state. At this time, we need to be careful to ensure that our words do not cause lasting damage. Anyone who has experienced an adult using sarcasm or insults as a way to control behavior most likely remembers the experience vividly.

Early educators understand the importance of using kind and professional language with children, and the use of harmful insults is usually only an issue once adults have moved into the red pathway. For this reason, educators must have personal coping mechanisms that help them remain calm. Using sarcasm and insults can also be a last resort, when we feel like we are losing control and don’t know what else to do. However, engaging in this way creates a negative classroom climate (Pianta, La Paro, & Hamre, 2008). Additionally, sarcasm is confusing for young children who are still learning to match affect and language, especially when children are still developing pragmatic language (e.g., delays in expressive/receptive language). Adding a number of high-profile strategies to your educator toolkit can ensure that you have multiple ways to address a behavioral concern without resorting to these pitfalls.

Redirection

Redirection is the process of engaging with a child in a nonthreatening way to shift from an unwanted behavior to a productive behavior. The goal is to move the child’s attention from the current behavior to something more appropriate or, in some cases, safer. For example, if a toddler sees a cup of water with a paintbrush set up for a later activity and begins waddling over at full speed, how do we keep the child from turning over the cup? The teacher could scream “No!” Conversely, they could get the child’s attention by calling their name, happily clapping, and redirecting the child to the block area. The foundational component of successfully redirecting a child is to first gain the child’s attention and then redirect to a productive behavior.

Using redirection questions related to the desired behavior is often a useful strategy. In an elementary classroom, the children might respond to questions with a series of hand signals the teacher has created (thumbs-up, thumbs-down). This might look like a teacher saying, “Who thinks it is getting a little too loud in our classroom? Please show me using a thumbs-up or down. I see a number of people with their thumbs up. Please check your volume and make sure it is at a level 1 or 2 so all of our friends can focus.” This practice allows the class to reflect, recenter, and continue with the task at hand, without a major interruption and, more important, without drawing attention to a specific child or behavior. Whole-class redirection strategies are pre-taught routines that the teacher can rely on when necessary to realign expectations.

Proximity

Proximity is the practice of considering the positionality of your body in relation to the children within the classroom. For example, when using this strategy, the teacher might intentionally move near a student who needs additional support. The physical presence of an adult often resolves the behavior and no words are required. If words are used, it is helpful to use an open-ended question or invitation. For example, “Tell me about what you are working on right now.” This type of question can provide an opportunity to clarify any misunderstanding and ensure that the child knows how to proceed with the task. In a preschool classroom, this might look like a teacher noticing that the children playing in the blocks center are becoming frustrated with each other and their voice levels are rising. The teacher might walk to the center and sit down on the edge of the rug with the children observing their discussion. Her presence in the center could resolve the frustration, or students may directly address their teacher and ask for assistance in navigating the issue.

Transition Signals

Challenging behaviors are common during transitions because this is often a time with less structure. Also, it is not uncommon for children to be reluctant to transition from one activity to another. This difficulty may arise because the child is tired, hungry, or experiencing some kind of other physiological stressor. Other times, the child may simply not want the current activity to end, or the behavior may escalate if the child has a communication barrier and cannot express their desire to continue with the current activity.

Using call and response, chimes, songs, or other predictable noises to signal a transition can alleviate some of the stress related to transitioning for young children. To use transition signals effectively, the teacher must intentionally explain the signal to the children, describe what it means, and model it repeatedly. For instance, when transitioning between centers or stations the teacher could use a variety of signals to support children’s readiness for the next activity. Using a digital timer on the smartboard to indicate the remaining time in the center, combined with a verbal cue, can minimize the challenges of these transitions. When the timer indicates that it is time to rotate, the teacher can ring the chime and say, “It’s rotation time.” This will prompt the children to shift to their next activity. The teacher may need to remind children of the signal and its meaning at various points throughout the year. For example, when the clean-up song begins the teacher might ask, “I hear our song, can anyone remind me what it means?” In addition, for some children, it may be necessary to adjust the signal or combine the signal with other strategies.

Verbal and Nonverbal Cues

A cue is a signal that communicates a message that has been explained and established in advance. A well-designed verbal or nonverbal cue can be used to eliminate or change a behavior or to remind a child of the appropriate actions to take. The commonality in all cues is that the teacher and child are using a signal that has a broader meaning understood by both the child and teacher. The cue triggers the child to remember the appropriate behavior or action to take in a specific situation; however, the cue does not draw a lot of attention to the child. For example, if a child is easily distracted during morning work, the teacher and child may develop a plan they believe will help cue engagement in their morning work. A simple codesigned cue might be the teacher walking by the child’s desk, tapping it lightly, and saying, “You’ve got this.” This cue will remind the child to stay engaged in the work at hand. The action of tapping on the desk reminds the child of the appropriate behavior during that specific time and the verbal affirmation gives the child positive feedback and encouragement.

Another example of a nonverbal cue is to develop a signal for a child to use when they become overwhelmed (e.g., the child walks over to the door and puts his hand on the doorknob). This cue should alert the teacher that the child needs a break. The instructional assistant will then take the child for a short walk through the hallway and return to the classroom. This is a valuable way to support autonomy and self-regulation. Using cues gives the child an avenue to ask for help, allows the teacher to respond, and keeps the child from being the center of attention in the classroom when they need support. When a cue is codeveloped, it is important to periodically check in with the child to ensure that the verbal and nonverbal cues are working, and if not, to adjust the signals to meet the child’s needs.

Mirror Neuron Cuing

Scientists use the term mirror neurons to refer to the unconscious imitation responses displayed when one person interacts with another person. Siegel (2020) states, “The discovery of mirror properties in the brain gives us a window into the profoundly social nature of our nervous systems” (p. 261). This discovery allows us, as educators, to harness the brain’s natural inclination for social imitation to support the actions and behaviors of children. In the opening vignette, Mr. Ayala used mirror neuron cuing when he walked over to the partner group and observed the discussion. He recognized that the students were starting to become frustrated and he intentionally used mirror cuing. To utilize this strategy, he kept a calm composure, used warm and affirming language, and situated his body in a nonthreatening manner.

When utilizing mirror neuron cuing, an educator might also use verbal statements. For example, a statement of safety such as, “You are safe here,” or a word of encouragement such as, “We will help you figure this out,” might also be needed to help the child regulate. Mr. Ayala used verbal statements in addition to his calm, physical presence when he asked the partner group if they needed help and then when he offered support. To keep this strategy low profile, it must be used before the child dysregulates. This means the adult has to recognize the early signs of stress to anticipate and keep the child from dysregulating. Ordinarily, some kind of physical indication will reveal that a child is on the verge of dysregulation, such as twitching, tapping, breathing quickly, or tensing their muscles. In the opening vignette, Mr. Ayala sees Jasmine clenching her hands and scowling. This is a perfect example of the teacher anticipating and reacting appropriately before the situation escalates. Mirror neuron cuing can also be helpful after a child dysregulates (we discuss this in the “High-Profile Approaches” section).

Scheduled Breaks

The schedule and routine of a classroom must be arranged to meet the social and emotional needs of the children in the classroom. Although some aspects of the daily schedule are outside of the educator’s control, teachers can make strategic decisions at other parts of the day. Knowing what children need allows the teacher to make decisions based on what they know is best for each child and for the group collectively. When our schedule does not align with individual children’s needs, we often see behavior challenges arise. Additionally, even with a well-thought-out schedule, some children might need intentionally scheduled breaks during the day to recenter their attention and to return to a state of regulation.

Scheduled breaks can be used in an anticipatory manner when the teacher is aware of the likelihood of unwanted behavior occurring or in the moment when you notice that students are showing signs of stress, irritability, or fatigue. The goal of a scheduled break is to provide the child with a brief respite to recenter in a way that is connected to the current learning objectives. This type of “break” maintains the focus on learning, while temporarily relieving the stressful aspect of the activity or task. For instance, the teacher might utilize this strategy to support a child who shuts down during math when faced with multiple practice problems. Instead of independently working on all of the problems, the teacher might have the student do two problems and then do a quick check-in. This check-in gives the teacher an opportunity to provide regular feedback and encouragement before the child continues working. Having a scheduled break between sets of problems also keeps the student from getting overwhelmed.

Academic Adjustments

Behavior expectations and instructional objectives are both influences in a classroom setting. Children may display unwanted behaviors as a result of their perceived or real inability to meet an academic expectation. An attentive teacher is able to use academic adjustments to support children when needed and to minimize the occurrence of unwanted behaviors. Academic adjustments might include increasing the time to complete a task, adjusting the amount of work, or providing a support tool while completing a task. Academic adjustments are a form of differentiation and ensure that all children have what they need to be successful. Some academic adjustments might be targeted for a group of children (e.g., setting aside an new activity when additional review is needed for some children). Other adjustments might be individualized for a specific child. For example, using a grip tool if a child is having issues with fine motor development and needs additional assistance to manage frustration with the task of writing.

Making instructional decisions around groupings—such as working one on one with an individual child, using partner pairs, or having small groups—demonstrates the use of academic adjustments in early childhood classrooms. In these scenarios, the teacher uses their knowledge of each child’s needs to group the children for success based on the project or lesson goal. Additionally, strategies such as modeling, scaffolding, and the gradual release of responsibility (e.g., I do, you do, we do) are all forms of academic adjustments. Understanding the needs of each child allows the teacher to consider these adjustments, while also minimizing unwanted behaviors.

Concise Directives

Concise directives are short, clear, and specific directions stated in the positive (i.e., what you want the child to do). Directives are often referred to as alpha commands because the action language is clearly stated first as a declarative sentence. It is not unusual, however, for adults to give children instructions or commands worded as a request, also known as “beta commands.” For instance, “Amelia, will you put away the blocks?” is intended to mean, “Amelia, it’s time to put the blocks away.” The child is expected to understand that the question is actually a statement. This can create frustration if the child perceives the teacher’s comment as an invitation (optional) instead of a directive (requirement). Some children will comply with a directive that is worded as a question. Other children, because of cultural influences, temperament, and other contextual factors, will struggle with this mixed message. This confusion can be interpreted as disrespectful noncompliance, but it is more likely connected to the unclear boundary communicated by the adult.

Another pitfall can arise when the adult uses unnecessary additional language after the directive, without considering the confusion it can cause. This could sound like first asking Amelia to put the blocks away and then reminding her that the clean-up song is playing and that she knows what to do when she hears it. Although all of these are important points, too much talking is not helpful to the child during this time. Using directives that are short and direct, with minimal additional language, allows the child the opportunity to fully understand the expectation and be successful. When a child complies with the directive, the adult has the opportunity to follow-up with positive feedback. In the book Conscious Discipline, Bailey (2021) explains the value of concise directives in this way: “Assertiveness clearly tells children what to do so they may successfully meet your expectations” (p. 134).

 

Sensory Modifications

Every child in the classroom is unique and has different sensory needs. Some children are drawn to sensory input, whereas other children avoid sensory stimulation. These differences can be apparent when using a new material, such as finger paint or shaving cream. Some children will be immediately engaged with these materials and other children will be cautious or hesitant to even touch the materials. Many early educators are aware of these sensory differences, but for some children, sensory stimulation can be extremely problematic. For sensory sensitive children, accommodations are needed for them to be able to productively engage in the classroom.

Sensory modifications are tools or strategies used to minimize overwhelming sensory situations or to provide a preferable modality for sensory-seeking behaviors. Sensory-seeking and sensory-avoidant children are often overwhelmed by the stress of a classroom environment. In these instances, sensory modifications are useful. For instance, flexible seating is a common sensory modification used in early childhood classrooms. Providing children choices related to where and how they sit not only promotes autonomy but also allows sensory-seeking children to be successful and able to sustain their attention. Providing seating options away from high-traffic areas or using a different kind of chair (e.g., a bucket chair or medicine ball) might be utilized for a child who has difficulty with traditional seating.

Additionally, for many children, the bright lights and loud noises in classroom communities can be very stressful. In these situations, the teacher might dim the lights, use soft lamp light, or even use the natural light from the windows in the classroom. To address the noise level in the classroom, a child might be provided with headphones to block out some of the sound. Other examples of sensory modifications could include the use of weighted lap pads or vests. Ordinarily, accommodations related to weighted tools would be initiated by an occupational therapist or medical professional. Noticing signs of stress connected to sensory stimulation and selecting sensory modifications in the classroom is a key element to supporting some students with behavioral challenges.

Limit-Setting

When children are having difficulty meeting an adult expectation, one option that can be easily combined with other low- and high-profile options is limit-setting. It is not always clear why children are not complying with an adult directive (e.g., a child refuses to start the morning work procedure). At certain points in the day, the teacher can utilize some of the other strategies mentioned in this chapter, but in other instances, there is not time or space to figure out what is causing the challenge. Some children can become overwhelmed during the decision-making process if they are given too many options. In these situations, an adult might provide options or set limits to support students making a productive decision. It is important that the options provided are all acceptable and none of them are a punishment. We do not want the options to include threats (e.g., “You can put your book bag away in your cubby or go visit the principal’s office”). For instance, if the child is refusing to begin the morning work routine, after trying other low-profile approaches the teacher may state, “I can see that you are having difficulty getting started with our morning routine. I’m not sure what is getting in the way this morning, but standing in the doorway is causing a problem. You could move to the reading corner or you could move to your desk. Even if you aren’t ready to begin the day yet, I need you to pick one of these options. I’ll check back in with you after you make your choice.” Both of these options are acceptable choices and they solve the immediate problem, while also giving the child some space and autonomy.

When we routinely see that children are having difficulty during a certain time of the day or with a specific series of events, we might establish a routine for a specific child to create the limit-setting boundaries. This could look like a first and then board or a series of events that the child puts in their own order each day (Figure 9.2). These strategies are especially useful for children who need to feel more in control of their environment and their bodies. Allowing a child to make a decision within limits provides the opportunity to be successful while also granting autonomy. For example, in a preschool classroom, a teacher might organically use this strategy when transitioning from circle time to center time. They might say, “First, we will make our play plans and then we will choose our centers.” Using these kinds of statements sets a limit and provides an expectation that children can understand and accommodate, while still allowing autonomy.

Name It to Tame It

The “name it to tame it” strategy is described in the popular book The Whole Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson, 2011). This strategy provides an avenue for children to make sense of and begin to identify their feelings, so that they are ultimately in control of their response to these big emotions. The title “name it to tame it” describes the process. When a child has a strong response to an event or situation, the adult attempts to name the feeling the child is experiencing without the need to understand or rationalize it. After making a guess about the feeling, the adult should confirm with the children if they have got it right. Getting it right the first time is not important, as the process of figuring out how they are feeling has value in and of itself. Giving the child language to describe the emotion is a supportive strategy, especially if the child has speech delays, which can cause frustration. This process also allows the child to take ownership of how they are feeling and strengthens the brain’s language connection (Siegel & Bryson, 2011).

The “name it to tame it” strategy is not only a psychological trick, but actually has physiological effects on the brain and body. Using this neurological process supports the child to return to a place of balance. For example, if a child is hiding behind their parent’s leg upon entering a new classroom for the first time, the teacher might say, “Wow, it is scary to go to a different classroom. Are you feeling nervous to move to the four-year-old room?” When the child nods their head, the teacher has confirmation that they have identified the correct feeling. Acknowledging the feeling validates the child’s emotion and provides the child with the language to identify their feelings. This often can enable the child to “tame” the feeling or be able to work with the feeling instead of being consumed by it.

Precision Requests

Precision requests use concise directives, often referred to as alpha commands, in “a concise, predictable, respectful format” (Wright, 2014, p. 1). This format includes specific steps to follow when a student is having difficulty following a directive. The procedure to implement a precision request includes the following steps:

1. Make the first request using the child’s name and “please” (e.g., Marty, please put the blocks away on the block shelf).
2. Wait and count five seconds.
3. Make the second request using the child’s name and “I need” (e.g., Marty, I need you to put the blocks away on the block shelf).
4. Wait and count five seconds.

It is very important to use the child’s name in these requests so they know you are speaking directly to them. It is also important to clearly differentiate between the first and second request by using the words “please” and “I need.” These words signal your kind but firm approach. Last, it is vital that you disengage with the child during the waiting steps and give the child five solid seconds (sometimes a few extra) to process the request. Shifting your gaze around the room, turning your body to face another child, and focusing on keeping yourself calm and relaxed can be helpful to avoid a power struggle. Typically, it is recommended to deliver a consequence if the child does not comply with the precision request, but we have found that combining another high-profile option is more effective and preserves the relationship. Often, we can pair this strategy with limit-setting; this provides the child with choices. Alternatively, we can use Plan C, which pauses the expectation for a period of time. We will discuss Plan C in more detail in a subsequent section.

De-escalation Techniques

It is important to recognize that how adults respond to student behavior in the classroom can have an impact on whether the situation escalates or de-escalates (Wisconsin Department of Public Instruction, 2021). De-escalation techniques support students who have been activated in what Colvin (2004) refers to as the escalation cycle (see Figure 9.3). We can use the escalation cycle to recognize the phases children may experience when confronted with a trigger that begins to prompt a fight-or-flight response. The cycle includes the following phases: calm, trigger, agitation, acceleration, peak, de-escalation, and recovery. Understanding the phases helps us make intentional decisions about the strategies we use to disrupt, de-escalate, and support a child in reregulating their emotional responses. Ideally, we want to use preventative strategies to keep student responses from escalating, but this is not always possible for all students within a classroom community.

Long Description for Figure 9.3

The escalation cycle includes 7 phases: 1. Calm, 2. Trigger, 3. Agitation, 4. Acceleration, 5. Peak, 6. De-escalation, and 7. Recovery. It begins with a calm state and gradually rises through triggering events and signs of agitation. Intensity continues to build through acceleration and reaches its highest point at the peak. After this, the cycle shifts into de-escalation as intensity drops, followed by recovery, returning the individual to a regulated state.

Adults can strategically respond to challenging behavior in a number of ways to minimize the duration and intensity. In the section “Low-Profile Approaches,” we discussed the strategy of mirror neuron cuing. As a low-profile strategy, we use this type of cuing before the child has become dysregulated; however, this technique can also be used as a key way to de-escalate a situation. In the same way that mirror neurons can support problem-solving, this technique can also directly signal safety and begin to quiet the flight-fight-freeze response of the red and blue pathways. Pairing mirror neuron cuing with empathetic listening can significantly de-escalate a situation. Empathic or reflective listening allows us to see the situation from the child’s perspective and prompts us to make statements or ask questions that can help the child identify how they are feeling and what triggered their response.

When engaging with a child who has moved into the third, fourth, or fifth phase of the escalation cycle, it is important to limit the amount of words used. Many people have a tendency to talk more in a tense situation or when faced with conflict; however, this is not helpful when trying to support regulation. For instance, if a child has just lashed out at a peer and is getting increasingly angry, the teacher might put their hand on the child’s back and invite them to walk over to a quieter area of the room. Limiting the number of people directly around the child can be very helpful. Once removed from the situation, the teacher can work to remain calm and give the child signals of safety, maybe breathing slowly and making eye contact with the child. Then they could make a statement about what they are noticing such as, “Bryce, you seem upset. Can you tell me what happened?” If the child is able to confirm this feeling and gives some additional information, the teacher would respond by summarizing what the child said: “I see … so you are upset with Sebastian because he is using your pencil and he didn’t ask you.” Just restating what the child said will often prompt them to disclose additional information. If not, the teacher could say, “Is there anything else that is making you feel upset?” This type of calming cuing and reflective listening typically begins to reduce stress and regulate the nervous system. You can start to see this in the child’s body if they slump their shoulders, maybe begin to cry, and make increased eye contact. Their voice might also start to lower in volume and intensity. Once these signs are present, it is possible to discuss what to do next. It might be necessary to return to the situation later and have a Plan B conversation (see Chapter 8), if the solution is not immediately apparent.

Conflict Resolution

Because classrooms by definition are community spaces, conflict will arise. Teachers need to expect and be prepared to facilitate conflict resolution strategies with students. It is unrealistic to expect that young children will be able to solve many challenging situations on their own (as many adults still have trouble resolving conflict). During conflict resolution, the teacher plays a very important role. The teacher models conflict resolution in action and then guides and facilitates when students are engaging in the process of problem-solving.

Because this model shifts the teacher from the role of disciplinarian to the role of problem solver, it is important to know when to step in and when to allow children to work out conflict on their own. When children have gotten upset quickly, this process can begin with de-escalation techniques and then shift to supporting students in resolving the conflict. For instance, in the previous example, if Bryce calmed down and was ready to talk to his friend about why he is using his pencil without asking, the teacher could check in with Bryce and ask if he needs help with the conversation. If he says yes, the teacher would guide the students through a Plan B conversation (see detailed example in Chapter 8). This would involve hearing both parties’ concerns and then brainstorming possible solutions. It can also be helpful to have the children consider if any harm was inflicted and, if so, what they can do to repair the harm. This might prompt a student to apologize to another student or take some other action to fix the problem (e.g., return a belonging or clean up a mess).

Calm-Down Spaces

Using a calm-down space in a classroom can be a powerful tool for helping young children manage their emotions and self-regulate. These spaces have various names, including safe space, regulation station, chill zone, and peace corner. A calm-down space can help a child who is experiencing hyperarousal and is outside their window of tolerance. Social withdrawal, behavioral inhibition, and the parasympathetic nervous system are connected (Rubin, Coplan, & Bowker, 2009). Having a place to move away from others might help a child calm their bodies, including their parasympathetic nervous system (Rubin, Coplan, & Bowker, 2009). To be used effectively, calm-down spaces need to be focused on supporting regulation and not used as a punishment. These spaces can be misused if adults send children to the calm-down space as if it is a timeout space. Used in that way, the focus is on exclusion, not regulation. To ensure that the calm down space is used effectively, the teacher must intentionally teach children when and how to use the space and also continually monitor the usefulness of the items provided within the space.

A calm-down space should be comfortable and inviting. It might include soft seating, pillows, a small chair, and even a rug. The space often includes sensory items, books, and visual aids. Sensory items, such as stress balls, fidget toys, and playdough, can be helpful to support the reregulation process. These tactile items are used intentionally to support a child to return to a state of calm. Books can also be useful in the calm-down space. An abundance of books support social and emotional development and many websites provide lists of books that might be useful. The OT Toolbox blog is a good example. Additionally, some books such as Tucker the Turtle are available for free. Visual aids might include posters with yoga poses, feeling cards, and breathing exercises. Figure 9.4 shows a number of visual aids that can be included in a calm-down space, including a calm-down kit with a mirror for children to look at themselves and resources they can use to identify their feelings and subsequent strategies for identifying feelings and making a plan.

Children need guidance to effectively use a calm-down space, and they must understand the space is not punitive and is not being used as a punishment. The teacher should introduce the space to the children and model or role-play how to use the calm-down corner. Additionally, the teacher might reinforce effective use of the corner by giving positive feedback to children who use the corner appropriately. Finally, the teacher should continually monitor the space and ensure that children are using it appropriately. If a teacher notices a child is continually using the space or staying in the space for long periods of time, this is an indication that a problem-solving conversation is needed. Offering children the opportunity to provide feedback about how they feel in the space and to recommend adjustments is a productive way to keep the space useful and relevant for the classroom community. Effectively facilitating and utilizing a calm-down space can support the development of crucial self-regulation skills.

Plan C

Another high-profile choice we can make is to remove (temporarily) the expectation that is connected to the behavioral difficulty. Greene (2018) refers to this as Plan C. In Chapter 8, we discussed Plan B, which focuses on collaboratively solving problems with the child. Solving problems requires regulation, however. If the teacher has tried other low- and high-profile strategies unsuccessfully or the child has already begun to show signs of dysregulation, it may be time to try Plan C and remove the expectation for a time.

When using Plan C, we speak directly to the child and explain the shift in expectation. For instance, if the class was directed to clean up their morning activities and move to the carpeted area for the morning meeting, but one child refused to join because they were upset about missing breakfast, the teacher could try a number of strategies such as proximity, a transition signal, and a concise directive. But if the child is not responsive, it might be wise to walk over to the child, get down at their level, and say something like, “It seems like you have had a tough morning, and I can see that you are still upset about breakfast. It is time to start morning meeting and I would love to have you in our circle, but if you need more time that is okay. I will come back and check on you in a few minutes.”

Sometimes removing the expectation and giving the child some space can significantly improve their ability and willingness to meet the classroom expectation. Continuing to push will often lead to a power struggle and escalate the situation. This strategy is different from ignoring the behavior, which often makes the child feel dismissed and invisible. Plan C should make the child feel seen and heard and should let them know we understand their need for an accommodation, while also maintaining high expectations. The key to using Plan C effectively is to always return to solve the problem. Whether or not the child was able to join the morning meeting, the teacher should chat with them later in the day (when they are calm and regulated) and have a Plan B conversation. Understanding why a child could not transition and putting supports in place for the future maintains high expectations, while also providing the support needed in the moment to manage strong emotions and challenging situations.