Peer Relationships in Middle Childhood

Peer Relationships in Middle Childhood

Our capacity to form and develop friendships changes in middle childhood in some fundamental ways. Proximity and similarity are still important criteria for friends, but similarity is no longer superficial or based on just demographic characteristics (Afshordi & Liberman, 2020). In middle childhood, children begin to select friends with shared interests (Afshordi & Liberman, 2020), like favorite music, shows, and hobbies, but they also rely on social cognition and relationship skills. Children who display high levels of empathy, altruism, and cooperation tend to attract more friends and playmates. A child who is outwardly aggressive or extremely withdrawn and shy may be overlooked as a possible friend or struggle with loneliness. Friendships in middle childhood can be particularly helpful in the goal of finding acceptance and inclusion and learning the rules of social and emotional engagement (Parker & Gottman, 1989).

Friendships grow in middle childhood as children begin to focus more on having positive, reciprocal friendships and developing trust with varying degrees of friendship (Maunder & Monks, 2019). Friendship has several functions: (1) it provides children with a sense of self-worth and value, (2) it is associated with learning new social and emotional skills and finding new interests, (3) it promotes resilience in children by providing companionship and support, and (4) it influences development through shared cultures and experiences (Bukowski, 2001; Parker & Gottman, 1989). Children who have at least one close friend at this age are more likely to display confidence, emotional stability, and positive coping techniques (Maunder & Monks, 2019). They also tend to have high levels of academic achievement, cognitive focus, and problem-solving and perspective-taking skills. Finally, children with more friends are more likely to experience high peer status, peer acceptance, and wider opportunities for play and inclusion (Maunder & Monks, 2019).

One way for researchers to assess peer status is to use research on peer social evaluations (van den Berg et al., 2015). Children receive a copy of their class roster and are asked to select all the classmates with whom they like spending time, and those with whom they dislike spending time. Researchers then count the number of positive and negative nominations given to each child and sort them into four categories: popular, rejected, controversial, or peer-neglected (Figure 12.9). The classifications are not shared with the children and are used only for research purposes. Children who receive many positive and few negative nominations are considered to be popular or well-liked in their classroom. In this context, a popular child describes a child who receives multiple positive nominations indicating that they are liked by many children. These children tend to display more prosocial and cooperative behaviors, have a high level of empathy, and apply positive coping techniques.

Those who receive few positive and many negative nominations are considered to be a rejected child by their peer group and might be actively excluded, victimized, bullied, and ridiculed. Sometimes rejected children display high levels of aggression and hostility or low levels of cooperation. Or they may have a visible disability, a developmental delay, or poor hygiene or belong to an ethnic, linguistic, or gender minority. Children who experience peer rejection are at risk of developing higher levels of depression, loneliness, and isolation (Sakyi et al., 2015). However, when rejected children have at least one good reciprocal friendship, they may be protected from these negative risks (Pedersen et al., 2007). Peer rejection that is the result of bias and social exclusion can also be prevented through creating a positive and inclusive school environment (Lynn Mulvey et al., 2017).

Children with a high number of both positive and negative nominations are well-liked in their peer group but strongly disliked by some others. They are considered a controversial child and may be more likely to use relational aggression to covertly intimidate some classmates while behaving cooperatively with others (van den Berg et al., 2015). They may be class leaders who are noticed by everyone, trendsetters, outspoken children, class clowns, or those whom some aspire to be like.

Children who receive a smaller number of both positive and negative nominations are categorized as an average child, which puts them in the largest category. Finally, children with a low number of positive and negative nominations are considered to be a peer-neglected child. They are more likely to be shy, quiet, and withdrawn from the peer group. Although they do not have bullies or enemies, they do not have friends or close allies either. They may be new to a school or have a high level of absenteeism and thus be relatively unknown by others. Early research speculated that children who experience peer neglect may also feel higher levels of anxiety, loneliness, and isolation (Newcomb et al., 1993). However, more recent research has found that peer-neglected children may actually look much more like the average or popular children and are simply nominated less (Marinucci et al., 2023; Muñoz–Silva et al., 2020).

Parents play a role in establishing the way their children are perceived by their peers. Essentially, children generalize to their peers the social behaviors they learned with their parents. In particular, the parenting style children experience influences their relationships with their peers (Rose et al., 2022). Children who have authoritarian parents (strict and harsh) tend to be less popular than children with authoritative parents (warm and responsive). The quality of friendships in children has also been linked to the quality of attachment they had with their parents earlier in life (Wong et al., 2020). Children who had a secure attachment with a parent have more positive peer relationships (Delgado et al., 2022).